Post by Nathan Landry on Jun 21, 2017 16:46:51 GMT -8
There was a painfully long silence between his attempt at levity and her answer. He began to think that, maybe, she was about to drop his hand and march off into the darkness. Or just arrest him right there. Was she authorized to arrest a ship's historian on the weight of a light-hearted halfway confession? There hadn't been any details, after all, but....
"Why not from the beginning?"
Nathan suddenly felt as if his stomach wasn't quite present in his body anymore--and not in the good way. The beginning of what, he wondered, was the proper one? There were many fresh beginnings in his life, so many of them that he'd stopped keeping track at some point. When you kept starting over, it just became...what you were. You were the man of many faces, equally infamous and inscrutable, the sort of person who could walk into any unreputable place in the galaxy and be feted, but could just as easily blend into any crowd of law-abiding citizens. A useful skill, and one that had served him well. Not one he'd come equipped with, if he was being honest.
"My dad was a Starfleet officer," he said, abruptly. "I don't know if I ever told you that before. He was an engineering officer, never even broke Lieutenant far as I know. He wanted me to be this perfect little..." Nathan's stomach had returned, sinking, and he realized that it had been...a long time since he'd thought about his dad. Like this, anyway. "A Fleeter," he said, as flatly as he could. "He wanted me to be a Starfleet officer, some perfect little tin soldier that would march in step and do everything right, and that's not who I was. It was never who I was. Maybe it's because he wanted it so much."
It wasn't, perhaps, the beginning she'd expected. He plunged on, anyway.
"They sent me to this school, after I was caught thieving from one of the shops on Jupiter Station. I um...I stole some stupid little gamechip, because I was fourteen and an idiot. I could've just told the shopkeeper I wanted it, of course, because my dad was an officer, for god's sake, but...there was an allure, you know?" He glanced at her, for the first time, furtively from under his eyelashes, to gauge her reaction to that. "I guess you probably don't," he said. He took a deep breath, more to make his stomach settle than anything else. "There was this kid a year ahead of me. A quarter-Vulcan, or something like that, an orphan who'd been shuffled off to a human school because his Vulcan great-grandparents didn't want to deal with him. There was something wrong with his brain, I think, some kind of telepathic madness that was taking a ridiculously long time to really assert itself. I didn't know for years, honestly, how crazy poor Tamak really was. But I loved him. No," he said, correcting, "I worshipped him. And he filled my head with these stories of all the things he'd seen out in the galaxy, how a person could run away from everything and just...be free. And when I graduated, I called my parents and told them I wasn't going to San Francisco, and they could go--well. I won't repeat what I said to them, because it... Can we sit down?"
The path had widened slightly, and a sandy area had opened up, benches to either side. Without waiting for her confirmation, Nathan dropped her hand and went to sit down. It didn't last long. He'd barely sat down, trying to remember where he'd left off before he was up again, pacing. "I found out they died, you know," he said, his back to her before he turned back. "Dad died years ago, but mum...mum died in the invasion. And I realized that the last time I'd talked to them, I'd been...well, a little shit. And I didn't really stop being that." He paused, staring down at his hands that he was almost fidgeting in front of him, tapping his fists against each other, absently rubbing his knuckles otherwise.
"That doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it, because that wasn't what she'd asked, and he was giving more information than necessary in his desire to be truthful. And it was a very long story, and she didn't need...she didn't need all of all of it. "I started travelling. After I ditched the cargo freighters--they're awful, would never reccommend them--I got hold of Tamak. So we started travelling together. We'd been running around for...six months? maybe? when I first noticed. He'd spend a lot of time in seedy little bars, and sometimes people would show up in our berths who seemed just a little too peeved that he had a buddy with him. So I asked him, and he showed me his current haul. It was..." Nathan paused, both in his telling and in his pacing, holding his hands out as if in an approximation of size, "hidden under his bunk, this little pallet of Hush, stuff that'll make your brain swell if you take too much of it. It's very illegal, I'm sure you've heard of it. He was selling it, bits at a time. He was distributing it. He said it was a great way to make latinum to spend on women and booze and eventually, he'd be rich enough to buy himself a planet somewhere. And he asked if I'd help."
Nathan took a deep breath, steeling himself before he pivoted, turning back toward her to meet her eyes as squarely as he could. "So that's the beginning of my becoming a drug runner," he said. "We didn't stop with Hush, either. Moon Rocks, Nebula's Tongue, you name it, we sold it. Made a name for ourselves, honestly. Only I think...it was the Enigma, I think, that did it finally. Made his brain snap. He went stark raving mad, finally, tried to attack me and meld with me so I could...I don't even remember what he wanted for me, but I beat him off me and ran, jumping the first ship off Ferenginar I could find. I don't know what happened to him. Honestly, I didn't want to know."
He paused, meeting her eyes again, smiling wanly. "It only gets worse from here," he said. She should, after all, have the chance to cut out. If she wanted.
Tag: Lt. Commander Alyssa Jenison
"Why not from the beginning?"
Nathan suddenly felt as if his stomach wasn't quite present in his body anymore--and not in the good way. The beginning of what, he wondered, was the proper one? There were many fresh beginnings in his life, so many of them that he'd stopped keeping track at some point. When you kept starting over, it just became...what you were. You were the man of many faces, equally infamous and inscrutable, the sort of person who could walk into any unreputable place in the galaxy and be feted, but could just as easily blend into any crowd of law-abiding citizens. A useful skill, and one that had served him well. Not one he'd come equipped with, if he was being honest.
"My dad was a Starfleet officer," he said, abruptly. "I don't know if I ever told you that before. He was an engineering officer, never even broke Lieutenant far as I know. He wanted me to be this perfect little..." Nathan's stomach had returned, sinking, and he realized that it had been...a long time since he'd thought about his dad. Like this, anyway. "A Fleeter," he said, as flatly as he could. "He wanted me to be a Starfleet officer, some perfect little tin soldier that would march in step and do everything right, and that's not who I was. It was never who I was. Maybe it's because he wanted it so much."
It wasn't, perhaps, the beginning she'd expected. He plunged on, anyway.
"They sent me to this school, after I was caught thieving from one of the shops on Jupiter Station. I um...I stole some stupid little gamechip, because I was fourteen and an idiot. I could've just told the shopkeeper I wanted it, of course, because my dad was an officer, for god's sake, but...there was an allure, you know?" He glanced at her, for the first time, furtively from under his eyelashes, to gauge her reaction to that. "I guess you probably don't," he said. He took a deep breath, more to make his stomach settle than anything else. "There was this kid a year ahead of me. A quarter-Vulcan, or something like that, an orphan who'd been shuffled off to a human school because his Vulcan great-grandparents didn't want to deal with him. There was something wrong with his brain, I think, some kind of telepathic madness that was taking a ridiculously long time to really assert itself. I didn't know for years, honestly, how crazy poor Tamak really was. But I loved him. No," he said, correcting, "I worshipped him. And he filled my head with these stories of all the things he'd seen out in the galaxy, how a person could run away from everything and just...be free. And when I graduated, I called my parents and told them I wasn't going to San Francisco, and they could go--well. I won't repeat what I said to them, because it... Can we sit down?"
The path had widened slightly, and a sandy area had opened up, benches to either side. Without waiting for her confirmation, Nathan dropped her hand and went to sit down. It didn't last long. He'd barely sat down, trying to remember where he'd left off before he was up again, pacing. "I found out they died, you know," he said, his back to her before he turned back. "Dad died years ago, but mum...mum died in the invasion. And I realized that the last time I'd talked to them, I'd been...well, a little shit. And I didn't really stop being that." He paused, staring down at his hands that he was almost fidgeting in front of him, tapping his fists against each other, absently rubbing his knuckles otherwise.
"That doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it, because that wasn't what she'd asked, and he was giving more information than necessary in his desire to be truthful. And it was a very long story, and she didn't need...she didn't need all of all of it. "I started travelling. After I ditched the cargo freighters--they're awful, would never reccommend them--I got hold of Tamak. So we started travelling together. We'd been running around for...six months? maybe? when I first noticed. He'd spend a lot of time in seedy little bars, and sometimes people would show up in our berths who seemed just a little too peeved that he had a buddy with him. So I asked him, and he showed me his current haul. It was..." Nathan paused, both in his telling and in his pacing, holding his hands out as if in an approximation of size, "hidden under his bunk, this little pallet of Hush, stuff that'll make your brain swell if you take too much of it. It's very illegal, I'm sure you've heard of it. He was selling it, bits at a time. He was distributing it. He said it was a great way to make latinum to spend on women and booze and eventually, he'd be rich enough to buy himself a planet somewhere. And he asked if I'd help."
Nathan took a deep breath, steeling himself before he pivoted, turning back toward her to meet her eyes as squarely as he could. "So that's the beginning of my becoming a drug runner," he said. "We didn't stop with Hush, either. Moon Rocks, Nebula's Tongue, you name it, we sold it. Made a name for ourselves, honestly. Only I think...it was the Enigma, I think, that did it finally. Made his brain snap. He went stark raving mad, finally, tried to attack me and meld with me so I could...I don't even remember what he wanted for me, but I beat him off me and ran, jumping the first ship off Ferenginar I could find. I don't know what happened to him. Honestly, I didn't want to know."
He paused, meeting her eyes again, smiling wanly. "It only gets worse from here," he said. She should, after all, have the chance to cut out. If she wanted.
Tag: Lt. Commander Alyssa Jenison