Post by Lieutenant Robin Star on Mar 28, 2017 13:53:06 GMT -8
(Note: All details regarding Kelsey in this post have been approved by her writer, Liz.)
"Lieutenant... what happened?"
Robin didn’t respond, for that was exactly what he was trying to find out. The dots were there, he just needed to connect them but he wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to draw that final line. His fingers slid tentatively over the surface of the PADD, taking their time to find a grip, albeit a loose one. PADDs were typically light, but Robin could feel the weight of an entire legacy within the answer he sought, his grip tightened.
With a hard swallow, he pulled the device to him and began inputting the name of a ship, one that had effectively kickstarted a crazy adventure that in reality, had only spanned a few years but felt eternal. For a single moment, he was reminded of an old conversation regarding the pronunciation, what was one of the suggestions again? Crud-eye? Internally, Robin smiled but the moment of levity was gone as fast as it appeared as the gravity of the situation pressed against him.
His eyes narrowed at the personnel list that scrolled rapidly underneath his eagle gaze. He was searching for single name, a singular familiar image… in fact, they all looked familiar. Just where were they all now? How many were still alive, still within the Federation, were they safe? And which ones fled and followed a path wrought with self-destruction, like Boribeth and M’Khol? Or Hunter’s insane bilious brother? The man’s name was almost ironic by this point, a singular focused personification of an age-old item rooted within Earth’s history with the intent to make people suffer and die.
One day that man, if you could even describe him as such, would get what was coming for him. The ammunition that fuels him will fail; the terror, the deceit, lies, greed and madness that could only exist in a universe that was jealous and scared of a united galaxy. That was the dream, what Starfleet strove to be; a beacon of unity, a collection of safe havens away from the shade that covered the red-hot mantle deep within those that sought to burn the progress of alliances, culture, art and even life itself.
Beginning with K, Robin reminded himself, slowing the flicks of his finger, sensing that it was close.
And there she was.
Kelsey Leia Lapham. Starfleet Engineer.
Robin drew in a deep breath, taking a moment before letting it out again. He pressed the name, the screen sending him to the full page of Kelsey’s profile and immediately, his gaze flickered to her status.
Status: Deceased. KIA.
A cold chill ran up his spine, making the hairs on the back of his neck tingle.
Like so many others… Robin thought grimly, his lips tightening.
“She’s dead.” Robin muttered, his gaze absent of reality and instead, lost in time. He tried to remember, her voice, who she was but came to the painful realisation that he had barely knew her. For god sake she had been a fellow crewmember not once, but twice! The worst part was that he hadn’t even known until now that she was… gone.
Robin closed his eyes, lowering his head as he felt shame and regret race into his heart.
Just like Zaynah, he had heard so much greatness about the green girl but the most he ever experienced with her was a curious bemused look from across the mess hall as he stuffed oskoid into his mouth. He recalled the moment now, the edge of his lips threatening to turn his frown upside down. He focused on that, remembering… there was Kelsey again, with a warm friendly smile that could defuse anyone’s, certainly a few warp core malfunctions based on her impressive technical record.
Robin recalled Tekison’s earlier question.
"Lieutenant... what happened?"
Robin opened his eyes to read the details of Kelsey’s death, already knowing the end-conclusion based on that fact alone, except that there was far more to uncover than he previously thought. He struggled to focus thanks to his gaze being misted over by the slow growing of tears tucked in the corner of his eyes. He blinked slowly as he started to read but as he did so, his eyes widened and his heart plummeted.
“She was there?” Robin questioned, in complete disbelief, not wanting to believe.
“The war… the battle of Kuroyuri Nebula…” Robin finally pulled his eyes from the PADD and glanced over at Mandy, sharing a mutual understanding of that battlefield.
“Four months before the end of the war…” Robin added.
The Nebula was a particularly unique one, known for it’s rare coexistence with a large variety of other nebulas which created one of the most beautiful spectacles of nebula you could ever imagine. It was like an artist had taken a brush and painted over space itself. It was a rainbow of colour, so many different strokes, wisps, shades, shapes, densities, each with unique traits and features. For that reason it was often cited as resembling a colourful garden, mostly because it was made up of a lot of green hued nebulae. It was likely the main inspiration for it’s namesake taken from the Japanese floriography, Hanakotoba. In this case, a type of exotic lily.
“We were there… She was there, on a different ship, USS Jamestown.” Robin shared, almost croaking on the last word as the implication of that vessel became fully realised on his agonised face. In that battle, he had no idea Kelsey was there, on that ship of all ships… the pieces were coming together as he remembered seeing it’s final moments with his own eyes.
The crushing of the hull, the fires that burned bright, extinguished instantly in the vacuum of space along with the people’s final screams. What made it even more sentimental was that based on the woman’s list of assignments, the Jamestown had been Kelsey very first vessel and somewhat ironically, it was a Nebula-class starship.
“The ship was down for the count, burning and falling apart... crew was evacuating in escape pods…” Robin took in another deep breath, this one loud and rough as his eyes misted up even more whilst he stared down at the PADD, as if struggling to read what happened next. But he already read the next part.
“She stayed on that ship, making sure those engines kept going so that they could crash into the Klingon command ship…” Robin’s jaw clenched and the flesh of his chin trembled. The event spurred a victory, but at great cost.
“The Var’Negh,” He spat, not needing to read that name in the profile.
Robin’s breath was growing ragged at this point, his face filled with rage and... something else.
Guilt.
“We were there,” Robin said, shaking his head, sending tiny droplets of moisture over the counter’s surface.
“A few different maneuvers…” He remembered his own voice shouting out the patterns. “A few different firing sequences…” He heard Alyssa’s voice firing words as rapid as the shots of phaser fire and torpedoes. “A few different decisions…” Kealan’s empowered voice guiding them through the smoke and fire.
Robin slammed his fist onto the counter.
“We could have been closer… transporter range… we almost did it…” He claimed, as if he was trying to convince someone. And if he was, it wasn’t Tekison or Mandy.
Robin stared down at the PADD, fighting back the tsunami of tears smashing against the internal dam whilst the weight of today’s events and feelings squeezed tightly, accelerating the pressure and the rapid beating of his drowning heart that tried to swim valiantly above the surface. He thought of them all, the paranoia of the investigation that painted him a traitor. Seeing Emmarie’s face in someone else, a reminder of when she was abducted by Colt, a time in which if he had been just a second faster, he might have been able to save her and spare Hunter his pain of a tortured lover and a distant child.
The whispers of words from a person once thought as a friend, Boribeth Sunland, someone he confided in, shared his horror only to find out later she had betrayed them. The concern he had for the kids aboard the ship as he tried to use them as a means of staring into an uncertain future, a child of his own, was it right or wrong? Was it for him and Kinin who had already gone through the joy of 3 children but suffered the tragedy of one murdered and the others taken away from her. Or was it simply the rooted obligation to supply the future of his family name due to the loss of his parents?
Then there was Haywood’s words about Landeck, the first being the caliginous warning of an anti-alien rebellion back on Earth and then… the threat made against Kinin which he had only just learned a short time ago had become a reality. She was snatched away from him, again, just like the time before that, and the one before… then there was the pressure of commanding the bridge, testing him and his cool with the concern of the crew and even the fate of the away team weighing heavily upon him.
But all that, within the span of a few hours… all that did not compare to the relentless storm of emotion that was the final realisation.
“Darby…” Robin started, his voice hoarse.
“He loved her…” He spoke through his teeth digging deep into his lips, as he remembered the inscription that was found within the turbolift shaft.
“And he’s a damn Q…” The pilot closed his eyes. There was obviously no body recovered but he knew, he could feel it that she was gone.
“He had to watch her die without helping her…” Robin breathed out, tears threatening to leak out of his closed eyes as the darkness of his vision overruled him, sending him back to a time in a dark grimy cave. He remembered Salor, how he was forced to watch those men violate her again and again...
Robin willed himself to imagine being in Darby’s position, if Kinin were in that situation to die… if he could magically click his fingers and save her with ease… could he just sit back and watch?
He shook his head.
“Darby… I’m so so sorry…” Robin whispered, finally understanding a man. All this time he had hated him for barely lifting a finger to help them but now he knew, Darby had endured and carried the same pain and burden they had all experienced. Just because he cared.
And so finally, as Robin bowed his head against the counter, the dam broke and he wept, not for himself, but for someone that was a man first, and a Q second, Marcel Darby.
A man in love.
Tag: Ensign Tekison Nevir, Ensign Mandy Bergin
(ooc: A little fun fact, Kuroyuri, the name of the nebula I mention means Love & Curse. And yes, for those that might call me out, it is also a reference to the show RWBY. Which you can argue has it’s own symbolic interpretation as a black lily/lotus/flower.
And yes, the Lily/Flower name allusions I used is purposeful but it can easily be viewed as a completely happy coincidence that I thought would be cool and nothing more, doesn’t have to mean anything.
Or does it? *Nudges Marian*)
"Lieutenant... what happened?"
Robin didn’t respond, for that was exactly what he was trying to find out. The dots were there, he just needed to connect them but he wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to draw that final line. His fingers slid tentatively over the surface of the PADD, taking their time to find a grip, albeit a loose one. PADDs were typically light, but Robin could feel the weight of an entire legacy within the answer he sought, his grip tightened.
With a hard swallow, he pulled the device to him and began inputting the name of a ship, one that had effectively kickstarted a crazy adventure that in reality, had only spanned a few years but felt eternal. For a single moment, he was reminded of an old conversation regarding the pronunciation, what was one of the suggestions again? Crud-eye? Internally, Robin smiled but the moment of levity was gone as fast as it appeared as the gravity of the situation pressed against him.
His eyes narrowed at the personnel list that scrolled rapidly underneath his eagle gaze. He was searching for single name, a singular familiar image… in fact, they all looked familiar. Just where were they all now? How many were still alive, still within the Federation, were they safe? And which ones fled and followed a path wrought with self-destruction, like Boribeth and M’Khol? Or Hunter’s insane bilious brother? The man’s name was almost ironic by this point, a singular focused personification of an age-old item rooted within Earth’s history with the intent to make people suffer and die.
One day that man, if you could even describe him as such, would get what was coming for him. The ammunition that fuels him will fail; the terror, the deceit, lies, greed and madness that could only exist in a universe that was jealous and scared of a united galaxy. That was the dream, what Starfleet strove to be; a beacon of unity, a collection of safe havens away from the shade that covered the red-hot mantle deep within those that sought to burn the progress of alliances, culture, art and even life itself.
Beginning with K, Robin reminded himself, slowing the flicks of his finger, sensing that it was close.
And there she was.
Kelsey Leia Lapham. Starfleet Engineer.
Robin drew in a deep breath, taking a moment before letting it out again. He pressed the name, the screen sending him to the full page of Kelsey’s profile and immediately, his gaze flickered to her status.
Status: Deceased. KIA.
A cold chill ran up his spine, making the hairs on the back of his neck tingle.
Like so many others… Robin thought grimly, his lips tightening.
“She’s dead.” Robin muttered, his gaze absent of reality and instead, lost in time. He tried to remember, her voice, who she was but came to the painful realisation that he had barely knew her. For god sake she had been a fellow crewmember not once, but twice! The worst part was that he hadn’t even known until now that she was… gone.
Robin closed his eyes, lowering his head as he felt shame and regret race into his heart.
Just like Zaynah, he had heard so much greatness about the green girl but the most he ever experienced with her was a curious bemused look from across the mess hall as he stuffed oskoid into his mouth. He recalled the moment now, the edge of his lips threatening to turn his frown upside down. He focused on that, remembering… there was Kelsey again, with a warm friendly smile that could defuse anyone’s, certainly a few warp core malfunctions based on her impressive technical record.
Robin recalled Tekison’s earlier question.
"Lieutenant... what happened?"
Robin opened his eyes to read the details of Kelsey’s death, already knowing the end-conclusion based on that fact alone, except that there was far more to uncover than he previously thought. He struggled to focus thanks to his gaze being misted over by the slow growing of tears tucked in the corner of his eyes. He blinked slowly as he started to read but as he did so, his eyes widened and his heart plummeted.
“She was there?” Robin questioned, in complete disbelief, not wanting to believe.
“The war… the battle of Kuroyuri Nebula…” Robin finally pulled his eyes from the PADD and glanced over at Mandy, sharing a mutual understanding of that battlefield.
“Four months before the end of the war…” Robin added.
The Nebula was a particularly unique one, known for it’s rare coexistence with a large variety of other nebulas which created one of the most beautiful spectacles of nebula you could ever imagine. It was like an artist had taken a brush and painted over space itself. It was a rainbow of colour, so many different strokes, wisps, shades, shapes, densities, each with unique traits and features. For that reason it was often cited as resembling a colourful garden, mostly because it was made up of a lot of green hued nebulae. It was likely the main inspiration for it’s namesake taken from the Japanese floriography, Hanakotoba. In this case, a type of exotic lily.
“We were there… She was there, on a different ship, USS Jamestown.” Robin shared, almost croaking on the last word as the implication of that vessel became fully realised on his agonised face. In that battle, he had no idea Kelsey was there, on that ship of all ships… the pieces were coming together as he remembered seeing it’s final moments with his own eyes.
The crushing of the hull, the fires that burned bright, extinguished instantly in the vacuum of space along with the people’s final screams. What made it even more sentimental was that based on the woman’s list of assignments, the Jamestown had been Kelsey very first vessel and somewhat ironically, it was a Nebula-class starship.
“The ship was down for the count, burning and falling apart... crew was evacuating in escape pods…” Robin took in another deep breath, this one loud and rough as his eyes misted up even more whilst he stared down at the PADD, as if struggling to read what happened next. But he already read the next part.
“She stayed on that ship, making sure those engines kept going so that they could crash into the Klingon command ship…” Robin’s jaw clenched and the flesh of his chin trembled. The event spurred a victory, but at great cost.
“The Var’Negh,” He spat, not needing to read that name in the profile.
Robin’s breath was growing ragged at this point, his face filled with rage and... something else.
Guilt.
“We were there,” Robin said, shaking his head, sending tiny droplets of moisture over the counter’s surface.
“A few different maneuvers…” He remembered his own voice shouting out the patterns. “A few different firing sequences…” He heard Alyssa’s voice firing words as rapid as the shots of phaser fire and torpedoes. “A few different decisions…” Kealan’s empowered voice guiding them through the smoke and fire.
Robin slammed his fist onto the counter.
“We could have been closer… transporter range… we almost did it…” He claimed, as if he was trying to convince someone. And if he was, it wasn’t Tekison or Mandy.
Robin stared down at the PADD, fighting back the tsunami of tears smashing against the internal dam whilst the weight of today’s events and feelings squeezed tightly, accelerating the pressure and the rapid beating of his drowning heart that tried to swim valiantly above the surface. He thought of them all, the paranoia of the investigation that painted him a traitor. Seeing Emmarie’s face in someone else, a reminder of when she was abducted by Colt, a time in which if he had been just a second faster, he might have been able to save her and spare Hunter his pain of a tortured lover and a distant child.
The whispers of words from a person once thought as a friend, Boribeth Sunland, someone he confided in, shared his horror only to find out later she had betrayed them. The concern he had for the kids aboard the ship as he tried to use them as a means of staring into an uncertain future, a child of his own, was it right or wrong? Was it for him and Kinin who had already gone through the joy of 3 children but suffered the tragedy of one murdered and the others taken away from her. Or was it simply the rooted obligation to supply the future of his family name due to the loss of his parents?
Then there was Haywood’s words about Landeck, the first being the caliginous warning of an anti-alien rebellion back on Earth and then… the threat made against Kinin which he had only just learned a short time ago had become a reality. She was snatched away from him, again, just like the time before that, and the one before… then there was the pressure of commanding the bridge, testing him and his cool with the concern of the crew and even the fate of the away team weighing heavily upon him.
But all that, within the span of a few hours… all that did not compare to the relentless storm of emotion that was the final realisation.
“Darby…” Robin started, his voice hoarse.
“He loved her…” He spoke through his teeth digging deep into his lips, as he remembered the inscription that was found within the turbolift shaft.
“And he’s a damn Q…” The pilot closed his eyes. There was obviously no body recovered but he knew, he could feel it that she was gone.
“He had to watch her die without helping her…” Robin breathed out, tears threatening to leak out of his closed eyes as the darkness of his vision overruled him, sending him back to a time in a dark grimy cave. He remembered Salor, how he was forced to watch those men violate her again and again...
Robin willed himself to imagine being in Darby’s position, if Kinin were in that situation to die… if he could magically click his fingers and save her with ease… could he just sit back and watch?
He shook his head.
“Darby… I’m so so sorry…” Robin whispered, finally understanding a man. All this time he had hated him for barely lifting a finger to help them but now he knew, Darby had endured and carried the same pain and burden they had all experienced. Just because he cared.
And so finally, as Robin bowed his head against the counter, the dam broke and he wept, not for himself, but for someone that was a man first, and a Q second, Marcel Darby.
A man in love.
Tag: Ensign Tekison Nevir, Ensign Mandy Bergin
(ooc: A little fun fact, Kuroyuri, the name of the nebula I mention means Love & Curse. And yes, for those that might call me out, it is also a reference to the show RWBY. Which you can argue has it’s own symbolic interpretation as a black lily/lotus/flower.
And yes, the Lily/Flower name allusions I used is purposeful but it can easily be viewed as a completely happy coincidence that I thought would be cool and nothing more, doesn’t have to mean anything.
Or does it? *Nudges Marian*)