Post by veileddreamer on Aug 11, 2009 21:00:19 GMT -8
Character's Name: Andrew Damien Finch (thinks of himself as more of a Drew; most people tend to think he goes by his middle name, so he's called Dae by a select few who prefer it; relatives, most especially his mother, call him Andrew Damien in casual conversation)
Age: 29 (thirty in a month)
Gender: Male
Race: Human (full-blooded)
Physical Profile:
Drew stands an ample 5’9” and weighs a lean 162 pounds. He’s fairly muscular and enjoys a good run, but considering the fact that he’s almost constantly on a ship, “fixing” something (for better or worse), or studying up on the latest technological breakthrough, that doesn’t happen often. In fact, when he can, he spends most of his time outside. There is something about the outdoors that speaks to the need for freedom buried deep inside him.
His face almost always expresses a deeply engrained cheerfulness that is very hard to disturb. He sees “the bright side” of everything, and his eyes, which are a contrastingly solemn blue-gray, are just as easy to smile as the rest of his face. This isn’t to say his face is very expressive: the epitomizing look of optimism seems to be his nigh permanent image, and those that know him find it hard to associate him with anything else, especially since his other, less positive emotions rarely show through.
Born to two fully Human parents, Drew doesn’t have much of an exotic appearance, though his hair is a bit on the bronze side, something he got from his paternal grandmother, perhaps the only interesting person in the Finch line.
Birthplace: Vulcan
Deciding that they possessed a grace and form of social etiquette largely incapable of practically ever other member of the Human race, Edward Roosevelt Finch and Penelope Violet Finch, née Samuels, relocated themselves to Vulcan shortly after their marriage. Penelope didn’t realize she was pregnant at the time, and when it came time for the baby to be born, they opted to have it on Vulcan.
Preferred rank: Lt. Commander
Department: Engineering – Chief Engineering Officer
Personality:
On the surface, it is quite easy to tell what kind of person Drew is. He is optimistic, well-meaning, generally nice; he by no means usually comes off as shallow, but people tend to believe that is all there is to him. He certainly can only be a magnificent gentleman who probably comes from a magnificent family on the magnificent utopia called Earth.
He seems almost docile in the way that he smoothly handles conflict. In reality, he has a piercing fear of fighting, arguments, and any sort of danger– physical, social, or otherwise. Thus, he breezes past disagreements in the best way he can: giving in. He’s very soft, no matter how hard he tries to hide it for fear people will take advantage of him, and he greatly dislikes causing people pain. Some people would call him spineless, and they might be right: he certainly does have a tendency for letting people (often women, since he subconsciously considers them delicate) have their way. Sometimes he bends over backwards to give in or make things easier: Drew’s overwhelming generosity, even to near strangers, can be almost frightening to people.
Sometimes, Drew can come off as incredibly socially inept. Other than the fact that he has no valid idea of how to handle conflict, he can become totally submerged in his work. For most of his adult life, he has lived, breathed, and loved Starfleet. As a result, he very often puts his work first, even above his own needs. If the ship needs a repair, he will work on it until its done, forgetting to sleep and even eat in the classic eternal “one more minute” fashion. It’s futile to attempt to talk to him while he is deep in repairs or reading: he will rarely hear you, and if he does, he most likely won’t register that you are seeking a response until long after the appropriate time has passed. It isn’t even that he dislikes people: he enjoys company on most occasions, but he doesn’t know how to properly hold an interesting conversation and is afraid to take risks in order to do so. This means he has had very few close friends over his life time and even fewer people that he let beyond his hardest internal wall and gave the knowledge of his true nature and of his past.
For the most part, he carries out acts of good will because he wishes the same would have been done for him as a child and young adult. As much as he appears to be an open book, he will do little to talk about his past, only talking about it if directly confronted. He is completely fine with letting everyone believe he is as simple as he looks. In fact, it would bother him far more if they knew the turbulence that lay under the still waters.
Lately, it has been easier for him to keep this image intact. Alyssa (whom you will meet later) made him a much stronger person, and he learned that he must maintain the value of himself before he can value others. Usually, Drew’s work ethic and success is directly effected by his self esteem and drive for success, and these are issues he struggles against. For the last few years, however, he has been successful in his battle against them, and the result was his promotion to Lieutenant commander not too long ago.
Background and History:
Andrew Damien Finch was born in the Vulcan city T’Ngal, a generously sized coastal city in the province of Raal, along the shores of the Voroth Sea. His father, Edward, had long before obtained a modest house there to escape the pettiness of the Human race in what he viewed as “extended vacations,” usually ranging between four to six months. Once, when he returned home, he discovered that his father had arranged for a marriage between he and the Samuels’ youngest daughter. Penelope in many ways resembled the common twig: she was almost unhealthily thin; her hair was stick-straight, dull, and dark; her face was very ordinary. But none of this mattered to Edward, since he hadn’t cared much for the incredibly stupid girls he had unfortunately happened across. Most importantly, Penelope belonged to an upright, renown family, she possessed excellent social manners, and she knew which order to use the silverware in at dinner. The match was perfect in every way, even though his mother disapproved greatly of the concept (Ella Marie Finch, née something unremarkable, had never fit in very well anyway, so it didn’t matter much to he and his father). Soon after, a marriage ensued, and they honeymooned to Edward’s favorite vacation spot. He had neglected to inform his father than the honeymoon there would be quite permanent.
They produced an heir, who was luckily male, appropriate enough for a firstborn. He was named Andrew after Edward’s father and Damien after Penelope’s and lived a rather normal, secluded life for his first years.
When he turned six (yet another uncelebrated birthday, as his parents had decided celebrating the glory of oneself was ridiculously self-serving, and besides, you were only becoming one year closer to death) his parents turned their attention to his schooling. Considering the fact Edward had never really taken the time to analyze his surroundings, they were completely unaware that Andrew should have been attending Vulcan school already; he thus started school with children who had already begun their path to restrained emotion and were fluent in the Vulcan tongue, something Andrew’s parents had also neglected for their son. In a word, Andrew’s first few school years were miserable. He failed many of his courses, and those few he did pass were out of sheer luck as he attempted to learn the language even as some of his professors taught in it. It came to such a point that the headmaster of the school he attended, who was also Vulcan, suggested to Mr. and Mrs. Finch that they consider placing their child “in an Earth school, a boarding school, perhaps. It is clear to us that he is… special, but not in the way that the other children in his classes are. We have already demoted him from advanced courses, and he is still lagging behind. We fear that soon we will run out of other options.”
Thus Andrew entered the days of late childhood, a most painful time for him. His personality had already been largely effected by the fact that his schoolmates considered him a plague to be avoided at all costs. Andrew was an innocent if exceedingly withdrawn boy, and he was desperately pleasant to people even in the face of their sneering. At last, Penelope noticed that her son had not made friends with any of the fine Vulcan children, and while she would have approved of his seclusion from his classmates on Earth, his current social situation was simply not acceptable. She requested that he ask two particular boys and their mothers over for tea: she had gathered that they were both the same age as Andrew and of good social standing. Meekly, Andrew approached them the next day. Needless to say, he was quickly denied with a laugh and a burning insult, but something far more relevant occurred: these boys, who happened to be very close friends, decided that it was time to put Andrew in his place, as if he already didn’t know it.
For the next three years, they made it a point to tease him, insult his heritage, and otherwise damage his self esteem. When he turned thirteen, Andrew entered something of a rebellious streak, deciding to try out a new view on life: if no one else was going to look out for him, he would look out for himself, and show the Vulcans who was the most superior race. Once after school, he spat back a well-rehearsed insult at the passing group of Vulcans that had come to pick on him as they usually did.
He did this exactly once, returning home that day with a black eyes, a split lip, a nearly broken nose, a bruised side, and a twisted ankle.
Andrew suffered throughout the rest of his school years on Vulcan until something interrupted the usual horrible monotony. When he was fifteen, his parents sent him to Earth for a year to live with relatives and go to a nearby school. It had been the habit of their line to go on such pilgrimages to other places for a different take on schooling, and Earth seemed as good a setting as any for their son’s first year away from home. The social atmosphere there was hardly different than that on Vulcan: he was so afraid to approach any of the other students, a learned habit, that he completely turned away from social contact at his new school. Eventually even the most earnest attempts to befriend him ceased, and since most people left him alone or ignored him, he had an opportunity to focus on his schoolwork, all of which was taught in a language he could actually understand.
It was revealed that Andrew was brilliant, especially in math and science classes. After he had completed his year at the school, he was shipped back home, and his parents gleefully presented his final grades to the same Vulcan headmaster who had suggested he permanently attend an Earth school in the first place. They persisted all throughout the long explanation that Earth schools were different from Vulcan ones in many ways, most importantly the difficulty of the curriculum and the easier teaching style. Still, despite Andrew’s feeble protests, he was put back into advanced classes.
His grades did a nosedive once more, and he began to doubt that his professors were wrong when they said he would amount to little or nothing as an adult. Through the last years of his schooling, his grades improved a little as he became determined to pursue the only ambition he might be remotely qualified for: Starfleet. Even this small success, however, was smothered in specially developed, more difficult coursework. When it came time for him to finish his school years, he left with little more than a certificate of attendance.
The Starfleet Academy administration was absolutely baffled that he wished to apply, his grades being what they were, but after much pleading, they allowed him to take the entrance exams. Shockingly, he did well enough to attend the school, though it was assumed he would drop out after his first year or sooner. Again, he surprised everyone with his quality grades. As his confidence in himself rose, his grades did do: it became easily noticeable by looking at his grade charts when he went through a period of low self esteem. He steadied these trends by focusing almost solely on his work, and his grades soared. For once, he became actually optimistic, if busy.
He did, in fact, find time for one other ambition: Alyssa. Alyssa was a beautiful Allasomorph, and Andrew tried to avoid considering the fact she could take any for she wished, so her beauty was false. Despite that, there was one beauty that could not be imitated, and she possessed that too. He became very close to her, and it was she that first gave him the nickname Drew. All the people he had known in the past, to whom he had introduced himself as Andrew Damien, as his parents addressed him, assumed he preferred to be called by Damien; usually, that was the only reason people presented their middle names. Slow to become attached but even slower to let go, Drew gradually let Alyssa become his entire world. His study hours revolved around her; his grades began to fluctuate depending on how much time he spent helping her in her own classes. He told her of his past, and she showed him the beautiful spectral form that was natural to her. Almost nervously, he let down his guard for her. That was the only difficult part. Falling in love with her was completely effortless.
What he didn’t want to believe, even though he had seen it so many times during the two years they had known each other, was that she was only a casual flirt. Whenever Drew witnessed her flirting with other guys in much the same way she flirted with him, his heart sank and he doubted himself and the validity of opening up to other people. They were inseparable, and they exchanged “I love you”s with relative ease, but his meant so much more than hers did. Or at least he thought it did– could it be possible for such an angel to love someone like him?
The first time she mentioned Maladan and her plans with them, Drew thought it was only a casual thing. He later discovered they had been friends for quite a while, and he apparently wasn’t the only male playing a dominant role in Alyssa’s life. The first time he met Maladan, it was when he walked her to the library for one of Alyssa and Drew’s innumerable study sessions. They were holding hands; that was normal enough, considering the fact that Drew and Alyssa did often. But there was something different there, and Drew got it in his head that he had to take action before someone else did.
He invited her to dinner at a classy place near campus, and the ring cut into his hand as he held it so tightly that it could’ve been his very life manifested into a physical form. Drew waited anxiously, denying repeatedly the waiter’s increasingly annoyed attempts to take his order. Finally, he left, his heart heavier than it had been when he first walked through the restaurant’s doors. The next few days, Alyssa looked sick and worried, but when Drew would ask her what was wrong, she would tell him all was well with a gorgeous smile. He would later adapt this same technique, because he would find it had worked so well on him.
This continued for two weeks, until one day, the seat Alyssa normally occupied beside him in the lecture hall remained empty even as class started. It was a small class, and the professor noticed as Drew stared blankly at the seat, “Does anyone know if Alyssa will be attend– oh, that’s right. Never mind.” Drew heard nothing else the whole class; those words resonated in his head. What did that mean? Had something happened to her? Was she hurt, or worse? He asked the professor after the class, giving the excuse that he had been trying to figure out where she was, too. “Oh, she’s withdrawn from the Academy. Just this morning, actually. It’s a real sha– Damien, where are you going?”
When he got to Alyssa’s room, she was almost done repacking. In a flurry of questions and answers, he gathered that she and Maladan were dropping out of the Academy to pursue other paths and perhaps return one day, but not before graduation. They were going to get married and she was going to have his child.
For a while, Drew was absolutely heartbroken. The ring and its solitaire diamond were kept for the longest time on a thin chain around his neck, even after he graduated (with a few honors, though his grades in all his classes dropped slightly albeit permanently after Alyssa left) from Starfleet Academy. Somewhere between becoming an ensign and being promoted to Lieutenant, junior grade, he moved it to his pocket. Though he didn’t forget it or Alyssa’s impact on him by any means, Drew now tends to be more optimistic and prefers not to think about her as much as he once did. He is still not quite ready to let go, even so long after Alyssa left, and only then will he confine the ring to be left in his quarters.
During his first year out of the Academy, Drew was a mess. No matter how bright he was or how much engineering talent he possessed, he missed out on promotions. He never had the nerve to ask why exactly it was the officers continued to pass him over, but it was clear enough. And so, after a year and a half of practically being a member of the walking dead, Drew set his mind to make up for lost time. He set his mind to his work and furthering his knowledge of the engineering sciences. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but one day he found that he wasn’t wearing his Alyssa necklace: how had he gotten through the day and not even noticed? Slowly but surely, he realized that she did not have to be his everything. He looked on the bright side of things and made an effort to smile even when he felt like putting his head in his hands. People took notice of this, and those same people promoted Drew from ensign to junior grade Lieutenant when he was twenty-five.
From then on out, Drew became more and more sure that he was at least somewhat confident. His self esteem steadied; his wild swings between rock bottom and high hopes became less dramatic. Taking one day at a time became his most reliable strategy, and just two years after his first promotion, he became a Lieutenant. The burst of confidence this gave him and how clearly it showed in his work was enough to jumpstart him into the position of assistant chief of engineering on the USS Mockingbird. After serving on the Mockingbird for two years, it was decided he deserved a promotion to Lieutenant commander and Chief of Engineering on the new ship, the USS Peregrin.
Those eight years between his senior year at the Academy and his recent promotion to Lieutenant commander have taught him many lessons. Life goes on, for one thing. He has regrettably not been able to see or talk to Alyssa again since she left, but somehow he manages. Somehow he manages to think about her almost daily, but he thinks about her in terms of the positive ways she changed him. He tries to at least look optimistic, even on days he could feel no lower: perhaps one day the pretending will become the reality.
Name of Celebrity: Ewan McGregor
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“Alyssa!”
The word was alone as it rang through the air, but for once, it was confident. Drew felt the subtle motion of the ring in his pocket and he knew this was as good a time as any. He was running down the hallway, arriving at her room without looking at the numbers on the wall. It like his body knew where her room was, where she was, because in a way that was where he wanted to be. He banged on the door.
“Drew!” she called back comically from within the room, “Come in, it’s open.”
He burst onto the scene like someone’s life was in danger. She saw the troubled look on his face and look up from the clothes she was folding on the bed. “What’s–”
“What’s happened, Alyssa? The professor–” He panted, gathering his breath. He hadn’t had time for a good run in a while and he was genuinely out of practice. “The professor said you were withdrawing.”
A frown crossed the delicate face of the form she usually assumed, her porcelain skin tainted by it. “Maladan and I are both dropping out. I thought…” She left blanks for him to fill, but in his current state of mind, that was something he was incapable of doing.
“You thought what?” Drew demanded, a little more forcefully than he had meant to.
“Everyone knew, Drew…”
“Everyone knew what?!” He wasn’t angry, though anger surely reflected in his voice: he was only desperate for an answer.
“Calm down,” she said weakly. The sound of a zipper sliding as it closed a suitcase seemed like it was too much, too large to fill the small, cramped space between them. She tugged it off the bed and rolled it along behind her on the way to the door. Drew stepped aside to let her through the small hallway that led past the bathroom and to the door.
Reluctantly, as her shaking handles fiddled with the doorknob, he murmured, “You and Maladan…?” …are a couple. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it, not with a golden ring in his pocket, taunting him.
She nodded solemnly with a tight smile. “That night I was supposed to be out with you.” Alyssa’s face fell downcast as she spoke.
Drew was bombarded with the sudden knowledge, and it flowed in and around his head as if it meant to drown him. He had only thought they were leaving the Academy together, not that they had…. It was too much to even consider. “What are you going to do?” he whispered.
Her hazel eyes welled up and she let the suitcase fall against the wall as she came to him, slinging her arms around his neck as if nothing had happened between them. Perhaps she didn’t think anything had. Drew for one was slow to even touch her, but he obliged so she wouldn’t think anything was wrong. “I don’t know,” she sobbed, “And it’s so hard, Drew. I wanted… to be… a Communications… officer….”
As if of its own accord, his hand patted her back gingerly as she cried. It was only a moment, but to him it felt like an eternity. How rarely had her tears fell on his shoulder? The times before were because of a failed test or some other close call, and they had only made him feel like his chances with her were improving. Now she was crying for a far more serious reason, and it alienated him and felt awkward. Life’s cruel irony had come back to bite him again, it seemed. She began to explain their plans, but he hardly listened. Marriage? House? A different kind of job? Somehow, Drew couldn’t picture the brunette as anything other than a red uniform on the bridge with him someday.
Alyssa slid her forearm across her face and sniffled, smiling and then laughing at how pitiful she must look. In the blink of an eye, her long, pale fingers were wrapped around the handle of the suitcase again and they were outside her room in the hallway. She offered him a final glance and mouthed “Goodbye” before turning to leave.
“But I love you!”
The words were there, hanging like icicles in the cold air, as solemn as they had been at the start of the conversation.
Her brow creased and she looked at him funny, as if she didn’t quite understand him. “Of course you do,” she replied with a velvet voice, “I love you, too, Drew. Maybe we can get together sometime.” Alyssa turned away one last time and left Drew standing there, immobile, his feet spellbound to the carpet.
Age: 29 (thirty in a month)
Gender: Male
Race: Human (full-blooded)
Physical Profile:
Drew stands an ample 5’9” and weighs a lean 162 pounds. He’s fairly muscular and enjoys a good run, but considering the fact that he’s almost constantly on a ship, “fixing” something (for better or worse), or studying up on the latest technological breakthrough, that doesn’t happen often. In fact, when he can, he spends most of his time outside. There is something about the outdoors that speaks to the need for freedom buried deep inside him.
His face almost always expresses a deeply engrained cheerfulness that is very hard to disturb. He sees “the bright side” of everything, and his eyes, which are a contrastingly solemn blue-gray, are just as easy to smile as the rest of his face. This isn’t to say his face is very expressive: the epitomizing look of optimism seems to be his nigh permanent image, and those that know him find it hard to associate him with anything else, especially since his other, less positive emotions rarely show through.
Born to two fully Human parents, Drew doesn’t have much of an exotic appearance, though his hair is a bit on the bronze side, something he got from his paternal grandmother, perhaps the only interesting person in the Finch line.
Birthplace: Vulcan
Deciding that they possessed a grace and form of social etiquette largely incapable of practically ever other member of the Human race, Edward Roosevelt Finch and Penelope Violet Finch, née Samuels, relocated themselves to Vulcan shortly after their marriage. Penelope didn’t realize she was pregnant at the time, and when it came time for the baby to be born, they opted to have it on Vulcan.
Preferred rank: Lt. Commander
Department: Engineering – Chief Engineering Officer
Personality:
On the surface, it is quite easy to tell what kind of person Drew is. He is optimistic, well-meaning, generally nice; he by no means usually comes off as shallow, but people tend to believe that is all there is to him. He certainly can only be a magnificent gentleman who probably comes from a magnificent family on the magnificent utopia called Earth.
He seems almost docile in the way that he smoothly handles conflict. In reality, he has a piercing fear of fighting, arguments, and any sort of danger– physical, social, or otherwise. Thus, he breezes past disagreements in the best way he can: giving in. He’s very soft, no matter how hard he tries to hide it for fear people will take advantage of him, and he greatly dislikes causing people pain. Some people would call him spineless, and they might be right: he certainly does have a tendency for letting people (often women, since he subconsciously considers them delicate) have their way. Sometimes he bends over backwards to give in or make things easier: Drew’s overwhelming generosity, even to near strangers, can be almost frightening to people.
Sometimes, Drew can come off as incredibly socially inept. Other than the fact that he has no valid idea of how to handle conflict, he can become totally submerged in his work. For most of his adult life, he has lived, breathed, and loved Starfleet. As a result, he very often puts his work first, even above his own needs. If the ship needs a repair, he will work on it until its done, forgetting to sleep and even eat in the classic eternal “one more minute” fashion. It’s futile to attempt to talk to him while he is deep in repairs or reading: he will rarely hear you, and if he does, he most likely won’t register that you are seeking a response until long after the appropriate time has passed. It isn’t even that he dislikes people: he enjoys company on most occasions, but he doesn’t know how to properly hold an interesting conversation and is afraid to take risks in order to do so. This means he has had very few close friends over his life time and even fewer people that he let beyond his hardest internal wall and gave the knowledge of his true nature and of his past.
For the most part, he carries out acts of good will because he wishes the same would have been done for him as a child and young adult. As much as he appears to be an open book, he will do little to talk about his past, only talking about it if directly confronted. He is completely fine with letting everyone believe he is as simple as he looks. In fact, it would bother him far more if they knew the turbulence that lay under the still waters.
Lately, it has been easier for him to keep this image intact. Alyssa (whom you will meet later) made him a much stronger person, and he learned that he must maintain the value of himself before he can value others. Usually, Drew’s work ethic and success is directly effected by his self esteem and drive for success, and these are issues he struggles against. For the last few years, however, he has been successful in his battle against them, and the result was his promotion to Lieutenant commander not too long ago.
Background and History:
Andrew Damien Finch was born in the Vulcan city T’Ngal, a generously sized coastal city in the province of Raal, along the shores of the Voroth Sea. His father, Edward, had long before obtained a modest house there to escape the pettiness of the Human race in what he viewed as “extended vacations,” usually ranging between four to six months. Once, when he returned home, he discovered that his father had arranged for a marriage between he and the Samuels’ youngest daughter. Penelope in many ways resembled the common twig: she was almost unhealthily thin; her hair was stick-straight, dull, and dark; her face was very ordinary. But none of this mattered to Edward, since he hadn’t cared much for the incredibly stupid girls he had unfortunately happened across. Most importantly, Penelope belonged to an upright, renown family, she possessed excellent social manners, and she knew which order to use the silverware in at dinner. The match was perfect in every way, even though his mother disapproved greatly of the concept (Ella Marie Finch, née something unremarkable, had never fit in very well anyway, so it didn’t matter much to he and his father). Soon after, a marriage ensued, and they honeymooned to Edward’s favorite vacation spot. He had neglected to inform his father than the honeymoon there would be quite permanent.
They produced an heir, who was luckily male, appropriate enough for a firstborn. He was named Andrew after Edward’s father and Damien after Penelope’s and lived a rather normal, secluded life for his first years.
When he turned six (yet another uncelebrated birthday, as his parents had decided celebrating the glory of oneself was ridiculously self-serving, and besides, you were only becoming one year closer to death) his parents turned their attention to his schooling. Considering the fact Edward had never really taken the time to analyze his surroundings, they were completely unaware that Andrew should have been attending Vulcan school already; he thus started school with children who had already begun their path to restrained emotion and were fluent in the Vulcan tongue, something Andrew’s parents had also neglected for their son. In a word, Andrew’s first few school years were miserable. He failed many of his courses, and those few he did pass were out of sheer luck as he attempted to learn the language even as some of his professors taught in it. It came to such a point that the headmaster of the school he attended, who was also Vulcan, suggested to Mr. and Mrs. Finch that they consider placing their child “in an Earth school, a boarding school, perhaps. It is clear to us that he is… special, but not in the way that the other children in his classes are. We have already demoted him from advanced courses, and he is still lagging behind. We fear that soon we will run out of other options.”
Thus Andrew entered the days of late childhood, a most painful time for him. His personality had already been largely effected by the fact that his schoolmates considered him a plague to be avoided at all costs. Andrew was an innocent if exceedingly withdrawn boy, and he was desperately pleasant to people even in the face of their sneering. At last, Penelope noticed that her son had not made friends with any of the fine Vulcan children, and while she would have approved of his seclusion from his classmates on Earth, his current social situation was simply not acceptable. She requested that he ask two particular boys and their mothers over for tea: she had gathered that they were both the same age as Andrew and of good social standing. Meekly, Andrew approached them the next day. Needless to say, he was quickly denied with a laugh and a burning insult, but something far more relevant occurred: these boys, who happened to be very close friends, decided that it was time to put Andrew in his place, as if he already didn’t know it.
For the next three years, they made it a point to tease him, insult his heritage, and otherwise damage his self esteem. When he turned thirteen, Andrew entered something of a rebellious streak, deciding to try out a new view on life: if no one else was going to look out for him, he would look out for himself, and show the Vulcans who was the most superior race. Once after school, he spat back a well-rehearsed insult at the passing group of Vulcans that had come to pick on him as they usually did.
He did this exactly once, returning home that day with a black eyes, a split lip, a nearly broken nose, a bruised side, and a twisted ankle.
Andrew suffered throughout the rest of his school years on Vulcan until something interrupted the usual horrible monotony. When he was fifteen, his parents sent him to Earth for a year to live with relatives and go to a nearby school. It had been the habit of their line to go on such pilgrimages to other places for a different take on schooling, and Earth seemed as good a setting as any for their son’s first year away from home. The social atmosphere there was hardly different than that on Vulcan: he was so afraid to approach any of the other students, a learned habit, that he completely turned away from social contact at his new school. Eventually even the most earnest attempts to befriend him ceased, and since most people left him alone or ignored him, he had an opportunity to focus on his schoolwork, all of which was taught in a language he could actually understand.
It was revealed that Andrew was brilliant, especially in math and science classes. After he had completed his year at the school, he was shipped back home, and his parents gleefully presented his final grades to the same Vulcan headmaster who had suggested he permanently attend an Earth school in the first place. They persisted all throughout the long explanation that Earth schools were different from Vulcan ones in many ways, most importantly the difficulty of the curriculum and the easier teaching style. Still, despite Andrew’s feeble protests, he was put back into advanced classes.
His grades did a nosedive once more, and he began to doubt that his professors were wrong when they said he would amount to little or nothing as an adult. Through the last years of his schooling, his grades improved a little as he became determined to pursue the only ambition he might be remotely qualified for: Starfleet. Even this small success, however, was smothered in specially developed, more difficult coursework. When it came time for him to finish his school years, he left with little more than a certificate of attendance.
The Starfleet Academy administration was absolutely baffled that he wished to apply, his grades being what they were, but after much pleading, they allowed him to take the entrance exams. Shockingly, he did well enough to attend the school, though it was assumed he would drop out after his first year or sooner. Again, he surprised everyone with his quality grades. As his confidence in himself rose, his grades did do: it became easily noticeable by looking at his grade charts when he went through a period of low self esteem. He steadied these trends by focusing almost solely on his work, and his grades soared. For once, he became actually optimistic, if busy.
He did, in fact, find time for one other ambition: Alyssa. Alyssa was a beautiful Allasomorph, and Andrew tried to avoid considering the fact she could take any for she wished, so her beauty was false. Despite that, there was one beauty that could not be imitated, and she possessed that too. He became very close to her, and it was she that first gave him the nickname Drew. All the people he had known in the past, to whom he had introduced himself as Andrew Damien, as his parents addressed him, assumed he preferred to be called by Damien; usually, that was the only reason people presented their middle names. Slow to become attached but even slower to let go, Drew gradually let Alyssa become his entire world. His study hours revolved around her; his grades began to fluctuate depending on how much time he spent helping her in her own classes. He told her of his past, and she showed him the beautiful spectral form that was natural to her. Almost nervously, he let down his guard for her. That was the only difficult part. Falling in love with her was completely effortless.
What he didn’t want to believe, even though he had seen it so many times during the two years they had known each other, was that she was only a casual flirt. Whenever Drew witnessed her flirting with other guys in much the same way she flirted with him, his heart sank and he doubted himself and the validity of opening up to other people. They were inseparable, and they exchanged “I love you”s with relative ease, but his meant so much more than hers did. Or at least he thought it did– could it be possible for such an angel to love someone like him?
The first time she mentioned Maladan and her plans with them, Drew thought it was only a casual thing. He later discovered they had been friends for quite a while, and he apparently wasn’t the only male playing a dominant role in Alyssa’s life. The first time he met Maladan, it was when he walked her to the library for one of Alyssa and Drew’s innumerable study sessions. They were holding hands; that was normal enough, considering the fact that Drew and Alyssa did often. But there was something different there, and Drew got it in his head that he had to take action before someone else did.
He invited her to dinner at a classy place near campus, and the ring cut into his hand as he held it so tightly that it could’ve been his very life manifested into a physical form. Drew waited anxiously, denying repeatedly the waiter’s increasingly annoyed attempts to take his order. Finally, he left, his heart heavier than it had been when he first walked through the restaurant’s doors. The next few days, Alyssa looked sick and worried, but when Drew would ask her what was wrong, she would tell him all was well with a gorgeous smile. He would later adapt this same technique, because he would find it had worked so well on him.
This continued for two weeks, until one day, the seat Alyssa normally occupied beside him in the lecture hall remained empty even as class started. It was a small class, and the professor noticed as Drew stared blankly at the seat, “Does anyone know if Alyssa will be attend– oh, that’s right. Never mind.” Drew heard nothing else the whole class; those words resonated in his head. What did that mean? Had something happened to her? Was she hurt, or worse? He asked the professor after the class, giving the excuse that he had been trying to figure out where she was, too. “Oh, she’s withdrawn from the Academy. Just this morning, actually. It’s a real sha– Damien, where are you going?”
When he got to Alyssa’s room, she was almost done repacking. In a flurry of questions and answers, he gathered that she and Maladan were dropping out of the Academy to pursue other paths and perhaps return one day, but not before graduation. They were going to get married and she was going to have his child.
For a while, Drew was absolutely heartbroken. The ring and its solitaire diamond were kept for the longest time on a thin chain around his neck, even after he graduated (with a few honors, though his grades in all his classes dropped slightly albeit permanently after Alyssa left) from Starfleet Academy. Somewhere between becoming an ensign and being promoted to Lieutenant, junior grade, he moved it to his pocket. Though he didn’t forget it or Alyssa’s impact on him by any means, Drew now tends to be more optimistic and prefers not to think about her as much as he once did. He is still not quite ready to let go, even so long after Alyssa left, and only then will he confine the ring to be left in his quarters.
During his first year out of the Academy, Drew was a mess. No matter how bright he was or how much engineering talent he possessed, he missed out on promotions. He never had the nerve to ask why exactly it was the officers continued to pass him over, but it was clear enough. And so, after a year and a half of practically being a member of the walking dead, Drew set his mind to make up for lost time. He set his mind to his work and furthering his knowledge of the engineering sciences. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but one day he found that he wasn’t wearing his Alyssa necklace: how had he gotten through the day and not even noticed? Slowly but surely, he realized that she did not have to be his everything. He looked on the bright side of things and made an effort to smile even when he felt like putting his head in his hands. People took notice of this, and those same people promoted Drew from ensign to junior grade Lieutenant when he was twenty-five.
From then on out, Drew became more and more sure that he was at least somewhat confident. His self esteem steadied; his wild swings between rock bottom and high hopes became less dramatic. Taking one day at a time became his most reliable strategy, and just two years after his first promotion, he became a Lieutenant. The burst of confidence this gave him and how clearly it showed in his work was enough to jumpstart him into the position of assistant chief of engineering on the USS Mockingbird. After serving on the Mockingbird for two years, it was decided he deserved a promotion to Lieutenant commander and Chief of Engineering on the new ship, the USS Peregrin.
Those eight years between his senior year at the Academy and his recent promotion to Lieutenant commander have taught him many lessons. Life goes on, for one thing. He has regrettably not been able to see or talk to Alyssa again since she left, but somehow he manages. Somehow he manages to think about her almost daily, but he thinks about her in terms of the positive ways she changed him. He tries to at least look optimistic, even on days he could feel no lower: perhaps one day the pretending will become the reality.
Name of Celebrity: Ewan McGregor
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“Alyssa!”
The word was alone as it rang through the air, but for once, it was confident. Drew felt the subtle motion of the ring in his pocket and he knew this was as good a time as any. He was running down the hallway, arriving at her room without looking at the numbers on the wall. It like his body knew where her room was, where she was, because in a way that was where he wanted to be. He banged on the door.
“Drew!” she called back comically from within the room, “Come in, it’s open.”
He burst onto the scene like someone’s life was in danger. She saw the troubled look on his face and look up from the clothes she was folding on the bed. “What’s–”
“What’s happened, Alyssa? The professor–” He panted, gathering his breath. He hadn’t had time for a good run in a while and he was genuinely out of practice. “The professor said you were withdrawing.”
A frown crossed the delicate face of the form she usually assumed, her porcelain skin tainted by it. “Maladan and I are both dropping out. I thought…” She left blanks for him to fill, but in his current state of mind, that was something he was incapable of doing.
“You thought what?” Drew demanded, a little more forcefully than he had meant to.
“Everyone knew, Drew…”
“Everyone knew what?!” He wasn’t angry, though anger surely reflected in his voice: he was only desperate for an answer.
“Calm down,” she said weakly. The sound of a zipper sliding as it closed a suitcase seemed like it was too much, too large to fill the small, cramped space between them. She tugged it off the bed and rolled it along behind her on the way to the door. Drew stepped aside to let her through the small hallway that led past the bathroom and to the door.
Reluctantly, as her shaking handles fiddled with the doorknob, he murmured, “You and Maladan…?” …are a couple. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it, not with a golden ring in his pocket, taunting him.
She nodded solemnly with a tight smile. “That night I was supposed to be out with you.” Alyssa’s face fell downcast as she spoke.
Drew was bombarded with the sudden knowledge, and it flowed in and around his head as if it meant to drown him. He had only thought they were leaving the Academy together, not that they had…. It was too much to even consider. “What are you going to do?” he whispered.
Her hazel eyes welled up and she let the suitcase fall against the wall as she came to him, slinging her arms around his neck as if nothing had happened between them. Perhaps she didn’t think anything had. Drew for one was slow to even touch her, but he obliged so she wouldn’t think anything was wrong. “I don’t know,” she sobbed, “And it’s so hard, Drew. I wanted… to be… a Communications… officer….”
As if of its own accord, his hand patted her back gingerly as she cried. It was only a moment, but to him it felt like an eternity. How rarely had her tears fell on his shoulder? The times before were because of a failed test or some other close call, and they had only made him feel like his chances with her were improving. Now she was crying for a far more serious reason, and it alienated him and felt awkward. Life’s cruel irony had come back to bite him again, it seemed. She began to explain their plans, but he hardly listened. Marriage? House? A different kind of job? Somehow, Drew couldn’t picture the brunette as anything other than a red uniform on the bridge with him someday.
Alyssa slid her forearm across her face and sniffled, smiling and then laughing at how pitiful she must look. In the blink of an eye, her long, pale fingers were wrapped around the handle of the suitcase again and they were outside her room in the hallway. She offered him a final glance and mouthed “Goodbye” before turning to leave.
“But I love you!”
The words were there, hanging like icicles in the cold air, as solemn as they had been at the start of the conversation.
Her brow creased and she looked at him funny, as if she didn’t quite understand him. “Of course you do,” she replied with a velvet voice, “I love you, too, Drew. Maybe we can get together sometime.” Alyssa turned away one last time and left Drew standing there, immobile, his feet spellbound to the carpet.