Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2012 15:06:54 GMT -8
"It's always about you," he muttered. "How you feel. Your headaches, your emotions, your fears. We work on a ship where any one of us could die at any time. Away missions are part of my job. I don't require a note from you when you go near the warp core, or need to go crawl around in the bowels of the ship."
She folded her arms across her chest again. Her head whirled with things she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to articulate. You don't want to know how I feel. You'd rather sleep with someone else instead of me. You'd happily let someone else carry your child. What exactly did you want to get from this marriage? What was left after all of that was gone, anyway? Someone to do the laundry?
"The thing with Lisa on Earth was a mistake. I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't tell you. I didn't want us to end."
She shook her head a little. So easy to call it that now, after the fact.
"I don't understand why you even went to see her," she muttered.
"What are you supposed to think now? I chose you over family. I would have killed my own brother for you. But I guess all of that doesn't matter to you now."
"I never said that didn't matter to me," she retorted. "You know how much I-" She stopped, and bit her tongue. How much did it take to choose someone over a psychotic mass murderer, anyway? Even if they were your brother.
"It's just sex, Georgia. Humans have been denying their natural inclinations for centuries. We are not meant to be monogamous, yet we keep trying. Does it really matter?"
Of course it mattered. It mattered so much to her, and she didn't know how she was ever going to make him understand that when he chose someone else instead of her, he was just re-inforcing everyone who'd ever cast her aside for someone else; every boyfriend who'd ever left her things in a box on their doorstep or broken up with her by subspace message, or the superiors who'd passed her over for promotion time and time again.
But how could you make someone understand that, when they'd said not half a minute earlier that they didn't want to know how you felt?
"It's like brushing your teeth with a different toothbrush from time to time, or how you use that other perfume for variety. The one that smells like grass in the sun."
She bit her lip at the unexpected words he'd used. It reminded her so much of the little things he'd say... the sort of things that would make her smile, usually. Reminded her that he was a scientist who noticed and catalogued the things about her, in that ultra-observant and curious way that she loved so much. It confused her that someone so hyper-observant in one way could be so dense in another.
She slipped the ring off her finger and held it tightly between the thumb and fingers of her right hand. She stared at the stone for a moment, then looked up at him.
She had so many questions.
Do you still love me?
Why don't you care how I feel?
Why do you think I don't care how you feel?
What can I do to stop you thinking you need anyone but me?
"Do you still want to marry me," she asked instead, her voice a whisper, but without tremble or hesitation, as her eyes looked deep into his.
Tag: Hunter
She folded her arms across her chest again. Her head whirled with things she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to articulate. You don't want to know how I feel. You'd rather sleep with someone else instead of me. You'd happily let someone else carry your child. What exactly did you want to get from this marriage? What was left after all of that was gone, anyway? Someone to do the laundry?
"The thing with Lisa on Earth was a mistake. I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't tell you. I didn't want us to end."
She shook her head a little. So easy to call it that now, after the fact.
"I don't understand why you even went to see her," she muttered.
"What are you supposed to think now? I chose you over family. I would have killed my own brother for you. But I guess all of that doesn't matter to you now."
"I never said that didn't matter to me," she retorted. "You know how much I-" She stopped, and bit her tongue. How much did it take to choose someone over a psychotic mass murderer, anyway? Even if they were your brother.
"It's just sex, Georgia. Humans have been denying their natural inclinations for centuries. We are not meant to be monogamous, yet we keep trying. Does it really matter?"
Of course it mattered. It mattered so much to her, and she didn't know how she was ever going to make him understand that when he chose someone else instead of her, he was just re-inforcing everyone who'd ever cast her aside for someone else; every boyfriend who'd ever left her things in a box on their doorstep or broken up with her by subspace message, or the superiors who'd passed her over for promotion time and time again.
But how could you make someone understand that, when they'd said not half a minute earlier that they didn't want to know how you felt?
"It's like brushing your teeth with a different toothbrush from time to time, or how you use that other perfume for variety. The one that smells like grass in the sun."
She bit her lip at the unexpected words he'd used. It reminded her so much of the little things he'd say... the sort of things that would make her smile, usually. Reminded her that he was a scientist who noticed and catalogued the things about her, in that ultra-observant and curious way that she loved so much. It confused her that someone so hyper-observant in one way could be so dense in another.
She slipped the ring off her finger and held it tightly between the thumb and fingers of her right hand. She stared at the stone for a moment, then looked up at him.
She had so many questions.
Do you still love me?
Why don't you care how I feel?
Why do you think I don't care how you feel?
What can I do to stop you thinking you need anyone but me?
"Do you still want to marry me," she asked instead, her voice a whisper, but without tremble or hesitation, as her eyes looked deep into his.
Tag: Hunter