Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2014 20:55:34 GMT -8
Her eyes slowly fluttered open. Turning to look at the chronometer, Grace let out a defeated sigh. Only forty-six minutes had passed since the last time she looked at it. That's how it had been for the past four hours. Grace could recall herself twisting and turning, trying to get some sleep. Yet, how could she sleep? How could anyone sleep after what had happened? She had tried to keep herself busy with work, but Doctor Ericson had all but ordered her to leave to get some rest. He made it sound like he'd need her in the morning. Of course, that only made her feel more guilty about what she'd done sense then.
Grace groggily pushed herself out of bed. She didn't dare turn on the light, not sure if Mandy had crawled into bed, or crawled out of it already. Instead she moved through the darkness, knowing the way by memory, until she reached the head. She took a sonic shower, brushed her teeth and hair, and after picking up her PADD quickly exited her quarters.
As she moved down the corridors, she couldn't help but notice that they were more quiet than usual. She had expected that, honestly, she was thankful for it. Normally, Grace would stroll down the corridors, beaming with the same hopeful smile morning after morning, greeting everyone she came across. Today, however, with the ship nigh deserted because members of the crew were either making repairs or on SGE enjoying leave. To be honest, leave was the one thing that Grace didn't want. In that, was was its own irony.
Grace nodded and offered a soft smile to those few she passed on her way to Sickbay. Once inside, she moved first towards the replicator. Normally, she would have stopped by the mess hall for breakfast. Yet, again, trying to avoid as many people as possible, she decided to settle for something simple from the replicator. "Two pieces of toast... wheat, side of apple jelly," Grace said. She sighed and then continued, "Coffee... black."
A small plate began to materialize with two pieces of toast, as well as a small mound of the jelly and a knife to spread it. There was also a tiny brew of java, already steaming. Normally, Grace avoided the stuff. Though, today, she wanted to make sure she didn't fall flat on her face. She probably could have gotten a fresh cup from Sig's office, but again, Grace wasn't in the mood to face anyone... not yet.
She moved over to her desk, and set the items in tow down. Her eyes looked at the chronometer. She was seven minutes early. That was probably enough time to finish what she had. She turned on her PADD, and the first thing that popped up was the letter. A pang of guilt began to grow in her belly, and she quickly closed the letter, opting to read the agenda for the day. "Update patient history, receive new inventory, reschedule appointments," Grace said aloud. She thumbed along the list. It sounded like a lot, but she could see that Sig was trying to give his staff a bit of a break. Grace brought the small mug to her lips and began to drink, but stopped just short as she saw the last thing on the list.
Her mind thought of all the steps that were entailed in the last task. Official identification of the body, the issuance of the medical certificate.... Grace put the PADD down, trying not to allow her mind to even entertain the notion. She had wanted to rush to Sig's office to ask if the Hyperion had arrived, but he would have told her if it had. She thought she'd overheard rumors and whispers that the Captain could possibly be alive, however, such details were clearly above her rank. She had to wonder if she had been a fool for even entertaining the notion.
Yesterday, she had sat foot on the bridge. She had seen Captain Kealan Monroe in action. The situation had been desperate, and somehow, just watching him had given her hope. Before she stepped off that bridge, she knew that she would be all right. She knew that she would survive and so would the rest of the crew. She hadn't doubted that for a single moment. However, while confident with that relief, she had never stopped to wonder at what cost. And somehow, the cost now seemed too high.
Grace turned towards the computer and brought up Captain Monroe's file. She found herself staring at his image, almost hoping that his voice would somehow come out of it. Perhaps, like yesterday, it would push the fear away. Yet, her hopes were only met with silence. Hopes... they didn't feel like hopes. It felt like something colder... more shallow... more like, despair.
She read on. She read through his service records, looking at the ships he'd served on, the commendations he had received. She looked through his medical records, spying a glimpse at all the cuts he'd been treated for, the bones he'd broken. Somehow, she was hoping to find something that hinted that he was what she wished him to be, a survivor. Yet, nothing on that screen suggested he was anything more than a man. A young man, from Bandon, Oregon who just happened to be the Captain of a starship. He was just a man. Human, like her. And all she was left with were questions. What was his favorite color? His favorite ice cream? Did he prefer hiking in the woods, or surfing at the beach? What was his favorite song? Did he even like music? She wanted to know anything else, because if you were Captain of the Talon, you deserved to be more than just a file on the computer.
Turning off the computer, Grace looked at her PADD once more. She opened the letter she had closed earlier. It was still there, her letter of resignation. She now realized that she had to have been a fool to do this. Her mother had been right. It was too dangerous. And perhaps she should just give it up now. She should go back to the Alpha Quadrant... back to Earth... and become a doctor. Perhaps she could set up some private practice, get a dog, find some place to live and settle down. A small cabin in Oregon would be nice.
Of course, there was still the matter of who to give this letter to. Normally, such a letter was submitted to the Captain. She felt too guilty to give it to Commander Jaivyn, considering everything he was likely dealing with. Or should she give it to the highest ranking officer, which would be Captain Raal? Grace shook her head, because that made no sense. And once she turned it in, she knew she'd never be able to look Doctor Ericson in the eye. Or Luis... or Mandy... or Xeira. If Kinin found out, would she want to break her in half?
She turned it off once again and pushed the PADD aside. Her eyes turned to her breakfast once more. All of a sudden, she wasn't feeling very hungry anymore. She convinced herself the best thing to do right now, was to get to work. To keep busy. To try to make herself feel useful. Because right now, she was feeling pretty useless. Dakbar had been right. The Gamma Quadrant was no place for her. She was too weak... too fragile. A little over twelve hours ago, Grace would have had the fire, the drive to prove anyone that believed that wrong. Now, it was too hard to try to think of a single reason why anyone that believed that wouldn't be completely right. Getting up from her seat, she picked up her PADD once more and moved about the room, deciding to catalog inventory first.
TAG: Any
Grace groggily pushed herself out of bed. She didn't dare turn on the light, not sure if Mandy had crawled into bed, or crawled out of it already. Instead she moved through the darkness, knowing the way by memory, until she reached the head. She took a sonic shower, brushed her teeth and hair, and after picking up her PADD quickly exited her quarters.
As she moved down the corridors, she couldn't help but notice that they were more quiet than usual. She had expected that, honestly, she was thankful for it. Normally, Grace would stroll down the corridors, beaming with the same hopeful smile morning after morning, greeting everyone she came across. Today, however, with the ship nigh deserted because members of the crew were either making repairs or on SGE enjoying leave. To be honest, leave was the one thing that Grace didn't want. In that, was was its own irony.
Grace nodded and offered a soft smile to those few she passed on her way to Sickbay. Once inside, she moved first towards the replicator. Normally, she would have stopped by the mess hall for breakfast. Yet, again, trying to avoid as many people as possible, she decided to settle for something simple from the replicator. "Two pieces of toast... wheat, side of apple jelly," Grace said. She sighed and then continued, "Coffee... black."
A small plate began to materialize with two pieces of toast, as well as a small mound of the jelly and a knife to spread it. There was also a tiny brew of java, already steaming. Normally, Grace avoided the stuff. Though, today, she wanted to make sure she didn't fall flat on her face. She probably could have gotten a fresh cup from Sig's office, but again, Grace wasn't in the mood to face anyone... not yet.
She moved over to her desk, and set the items in tow down. Her eyes looked at the chronometer. She was seven minutes early. That was probably enough time to finish what she had. She turned on her PADD, and the first thing that popped up was the letter. A pang of guilt began to grow in her belly, and she quickly closed the letter, opting to read the agenda for the day. "Update patient history, receive new inventory, reschedule appointments," Grace said aloud. She thumbed along the list. It sounded like a lot, but she could see that Sig was trying to give his staff a bit of a break. Grace brought the small mug to her lips and began to drink, but stopped just short as she saw the last thing on the list.
Her mind thought of all the steps that were entailed in the last task. Official identification of the body, the issuance of the medical certificate.... Grace put the PADD down, trying not to allow her mind to even entertain the notion. She had wanted to rush to Sig's office to ask if the Hyperion had arrived, but he would have told her if it had. She thought she'd overheard rumors and whispers that the Captain could possibly be alive, however, such details were clearly above her rank. She had to wonder if she had been a fool for even entertaining the notion.
Yesterday, she had sat foot on the bridge. She had seen Captain Kealan Monroe in action. The situation had been desperate, and somehow, just watching him had given her hope. Before she stepped off that bridge, she knew that she would be all right. She knew that she would survive and so would the rest of the crew. She hadn't doubted that for a single moment. However, while confident with that relief, she had never stopped to wonder at what cost. And somehow, the cost now seemed too high.
Grace turned towards the computer and brought up Captain Monroe's file. She found herself staring at his image, almost hoping that his voice would somehow come out of it. Perhaps, like yesterday, it would push the fear away. Yet, her hopes were only met with silence. Hopes... they didn't feel like hopes. It felt like something colder... more shallow... more like, despair.
She read on. She read through his service records, looking at the ships he'd served on, the commendations he had received. She looked through his medical records, spying a glimpse at all the cuts he'd been treated for, the bones he'd broken. Somehow, she was hoping to find something that hinted that he was what she wished him to be, a survivor. Yet, nothing on that screen suggested he was anything more than a man. A young man, from Bandon, Oregon who just happened to be the Captain of a starship. He was just a man. Human, like her. And all she was left with were questions. What was his favorite color? His favorite ice cream? Did he prefer hiking in the woods, or surfing at the beach? What was his favorite song? Did he even like music? She wanted to know anything else, because if you were Captain of the Talon, you deserved to be more than just a file on the computer.
Turning off the computer, Grace looked at her PADD once more. She opened the letter she had closed earlier. It was still there, her letter of resignation. She now realized that she had to have been a fool to do this. Her mother had been right. It was too dangerous. And perhaps she should just give it up now. She should go back to the Alpha Quadrant... back to Earth... and become a doctor. Perhaps she could set up some private practice, get a dog, find some place to live and settle down. A small cabin in Oregon would be nice.
Of course, there was still the matter of who to give this letter to. Normally, such a letter was submitted to the Captain. She felt too guilty to give it to Commander Jaivyn, considering everything he was likely dealing with. Or should she give it to the highest ranking officer, which would be Captain Raal? Grace shook her head, because that made no sense. And once she turned it in, she knew she'd never be able to look Doctor Ericson in the eye. Or Luis... or Mandy... or Xeira. If Kinin found out, would she want to break her in half?
She turned it off once again and pushed the PADD aside. Her eyes turned to her breakfast once more. All of a sudden, she wasn't feeling very hungry anymore. She convinced herself the best thing to do right now, was to get to work. To keep busy. To try to make herself feel useful. Because right now, she was feeling pretty useless. Dakbar had been right. The Gamma Quadrant was no place for her. She was too weak... too fragile. A little over twelve hours ago, Grace would have had the fire, the drive to prove anyone that believed that wrong. Now, it was too hard to try to think of a single reason why anyone that believed that wouldn't be completely right. Getting up from her seat, she picked up her PADD once more and moved about the room, deciding to catalog inventory first.
TAG: Any